He's becoming ever more complicated.  Fussier.  Less predictable.  Recognizing who he doesn't recognize.  Harder to soothe.  Feeding more frequently again.

The tether feels tighter...or shorter.

Is he teething?  Is it a belly ache?  Are we not providing what he needs?

I am feeling wedged so deeply into motherhood these days.  Some days I feel like I'm breathing such fresh air.  Other days I feel like I'm suffocating.  

This is motherhood, isn't it?  And it doesn't end.  I don't want it to end...but still, I have this feeling of wanting to drive away from it sometimes.  Just for a little while.  

But then I think about what I might do after driving away.

And I'm sure that would be driving right back again.

I must say, I've never felt a greater feeling of love and fullness as when Kep smiles at me.  It fills my tank.  Fills it full.  Keeps me going.  

Yeah, he's getting more and more complicated (and yet, he's barely three months!), but it only gives him more and more depth.  And seriously...I just love, love, love those smiles :)