Limbo

Had coffee with a dear friend today and on the way to meet her I thought, "i should've cancelled...I have nothing going on...nothing to say". And funny thing is, one of the first things she asked me was if I felt as though I were in this "waiting place". She hit the nail on the head. That is exactly how I feel. Like my life is in limbo and I'm just waiting for Him to pull the trigger on my uterus so that I can get on with things. Pregnancy is one month too long. Or perhaps He planned it this way in order for women to hear themselves say, "okay...I'm ready for this...let's do it already!". And I am ready for this...so let's just do it already.

I'm visiting the doc once a week now. He gave me a thorough checkin' two weeks ago, when he said I was dilated to a ONE, but from here on out he just waits for me to labor. No more thorough checkin'...just a weigh in, a tape measure, a doppler on my belly and a question/answer session.

So yeah, I'm just waitin'. And growin'. And peein'. A lot.

I also discussed an obvious point with my dear friend today. That point was that, one day, I am going to look back on all this TIME I have on my hands now and wish I had it back. I'm certainly taking it for granted and I'm totally willing to trade it for a baby in my hands. Strange. I should be taking my books and journals and music to coffee shops for dreaming time, writing time, ME time. I may just do that tomorrow. Or maybe I'll go into labor.

Only TIME will tell...