To Really Feel

I'm an emotional wreck this week, which is strange cause I've been feeling SO good the past few weeks. Funny how it all can flip so quickly.

I love to blog (although I don't keep up with my own). I love finding blogs that are full of inspiration, hope, enthusiasm for life, and that leave me feeling so much more free and creative than I was before I read them. I am on a path of transformation in my life right now and I've come to count on these people, these blogs, to continue pushing me in the right direction.

I just found this blog and the tears rolled freely as I asked God what He has done with my life? I will soon have a little being in my arms and I know, I just KNOW, the world in which I live will be long gone. Everything will change. BTK and I have no idea what this is going to mean for us and we won't know until we see "it" and cradle "it" in our arms. But I can FEEL the change coming...I KNOW it is on its way.

The tears are COMFORTABLE tears. They are SCARED tears. They are tears of longing and hope and worry. They represent the shaky ground I've been walking upon for so long.

I would be inclined to say that an emotionally charged week isn't the best, but why shouldn't I embrace it? Who is to say that a mountain of instability makes a bad week? God gave us feelings, an entire spectrum of feelings, and he intends for us to feel them. A week like the one I'm having makes me think, I mean really think, about my life and my actions and where I've been and where I'm headed. Yes, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster this week, but I'm going to embrace it and revel in it...because next week I might just go back to only feeling good.