Friday, November 14, 2008

Taking Care of Ourselves

We do not have to wait for others to come to our aid. We are not victims. We are not helpless.

Letting go of faulty thinking means we realize there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us.

Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. They will teach. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. They will care. Help will come, but help is not rescuing.

We are our own rescuers.

Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us. ~Excerpt from The Language of Letting Go

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I remember when BTK and I first moved here, and I was job searching. Fresh out of college, armed with a Psychology degree, I filled out a few applications and I looked here and there in the classifieds. I "couldn't find anything", and "nothing was turning up". I was frustrated. I spent a lot of time on the computer, in our apartment, waiting for something to happen. I was frustrated and upset. I talked to my father and his words still ring in my head, "No one is going to knock on your door and offer you anything".

It was an obvious statement, but very powerful at the time.

No one is going to lead you by the hand. No one is going to come and rescue you.

It is true for all of us, in all areas of our lives.
If you want something, go for it.
If you need something, tell someone.
Stop making it a guessing game for the world. Instead, step out into the world and make it happen!
You have it in you!
Spread your wings and fly!

RESCUE YOURSELF.

4 comments:

Jamie said...

Gosh, I love you.
You are moving mountains and helping others to do the same.
That little being inside of you is one blessed little dude...or dudette.

lu said...

Oh, and the truth of it is all here, and the truth of it is some days it's so hard.

Jocelyn said...

I wish all of my students would read this. For some reason, community college students in particular arrange their lives so they can feel the victim.

More pertinent to you, I'm left wondering what spurred this thinking in you at this moment in time!

Kim said...

Dear Mise en Place,
I have an opinion that I hope comes as no offense to you because it is entirely weighted on the excerpt and not your personal experience that you generously shared...

I had a hard time swallowing this excerpt. It felt a bit extreme, impersonal and lonely.
I know I'm the only person responsible for ultimately paving my own road, but I also believe that I wouldn't be where I am today if someone hadn't taken the time to "rescue" (encourage, discipline, inspire, invigorate, hearten) me. And I would like to think that, knowingly or not, I was a person who might have rescued someone too.
I am certainly not one who wants or expects to be rescued, but I think at some point in our lives we all wander off our path and we need someone at that point in time to rescue us.
And, who knows, maybe being rescued by someone is all part of the bigger picture of life.
It just seems this excerpt suggests that one's life can be so black and white but that's not reality.
In short, I think the act of rescuing others or being rescued goes hand-in-hand with faulty thinking. It's human nature to look for reassurance from loved ones, "teachers" and "people who care" even if you've already made a firm decision.