Another Chapter

Side effects may include: fatigue, interrupted sleep, constipation, sore breasts, lowered exercise tolerance, nausea, crying, weight gain, more trips to the bathroom, a baby in nine months, and increased affection from husband.



We are gonna try this again. I'm probably only four or five weeks along. We celebrated by going out to our new fave breakfast place. We sat down next to each other and just stared ahead, silently pondering the page that turned just that morning. Then we agreed that we would approach the pregnancy differently than the last one. We would take it one day at a time instead of thinking ahead to the next 18 years. We really freaked ourselves out with the last one.

BTK is carrying the torch of elation, readiness, joy, and confidence for both of us. I know he has some thoughts of worry and what-if's, but for the most part, he is just "so ready for this". The man has been through hell and high water and I praise God for the place he has finally found himself in. It's a really pleasant place and I am blessed to be so near him each day.

I am more of a melting pot of emotions, which shouldn't surprise anyone. I have a hard time believing in the reality that this one doesn't have to end like the last one. It's all I know at this point. I keep going back to this one thought, this one idea, that saves me and gets me all happy and gives me something to look forward to. It's simply a vision, a snapshot, of the three of us walking downtown... BTK and I on either side, holding a little mini hand and lifting and swinging this little being that is ours to mold and influence. I have two pieces of gold at this point: one is that fleeting, saving thought and the other is BTK and his affection. Otherwise, it is difficult so early on not to have anxiety about another miscarriage. I've been praying to God that I can handle this pregnancy if He just gives me the chance. I swear I can do it. The other thing that is difficult right now are the "Congratulations", because I know they are met with an unemotional face. I face that might give the wrong impression. By the way some people react, you'd think they are the ones with the growing embryo.

BTK and I have talked at length about this and the answer is to take it one day at a time. To try not to look ahead yet, and to try not to look behind, but to just live in each day with the realization that we've been given the chance, once again, to aide God in the little miracle of life. To embrace it and each other and to hold on tight to God's outstretched hand, cause sometimes that is really all you have.

My doc's appt isn't until later in April, for those of you wanting more of a clinial update... so hang on tight and I'll be sure to bring more details then.

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One more video for your enjoyment.

Next post, I will write. I promise.

Business Time...

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of hearing this yet.

Enjoy!

Spring Break 2008!!!!

I am officially on Spring Break! I considered going down to Mexico for some fun in the sun with some of my fellow classmates, but I wasn't invited. So I'll stay here instead and fill my time with activities such as dog walking, laundry, floor scrubbing, fridge cleaning, movies, blogging, writing, homework, reading, cooking, pilates, and convincing my husband that I need a backrub.

Today I will begin with cleaning the fridge (a shout out to Mom C. for the inspiration!). This will entail not only checking expiration dates and scraping the top layer of mold off food, but also taking out the shelving and washing it till it sparkles! It's gonna be great! I wonder how long it will take me... I think I'll time myself for fun:) I SO know how to have a good time!

This afternoon I'm heading out to Erins to watch the movie Rent. It came up in conversation recently and we found it funny that I've seen it performed, but remember none of it and she knows all the words to the songs, but has never seen it performed. So we decided to watch it and today is perfect because it will be raining all day, which calls for such things as movies and wine and a glowing fireplace. I'm looking forward to it.

I've no other obligations or plans past what I've written here.

I'm still deciding on whether or not to take the dogs out on a walk. It was pouring rain when I woke up and now it seems it has stopped... but I don't want to get caught in the rain miles from home if it decides to start up again.

Happy Monday everyone!