My feet swallowed my ankles.
And my toes look like little sausages.
'Bout a month to go...
We have a doc's appointment tomorrow where we will tactfully express to him that their "routine" measures during labor don't really fit our ideals :)
Can't wait!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Being Full
Today was full of feeling and gifts and treasures and deep breaths...
Today felt crisp, new, inspiring, fleeting, comfortable, slow, refreshing, beautiful.
It felt as if I was going about my business, and all around me a show was being performed...by the trees and the sun and the clouds, the shadows and the breeze, the cool temperature, the smells; they all played their part. They were all the "lead" at one point or another.
The performance left me giddy :)
Today, I went here and there, and there and there. I hurried, and took my time. I laughed when I should've been serious. I talked serious matters. I talked light matters. I considered our blessings. I considered we NEED nothing more. Nothing. More. I accomplished. I procrastinated. I wished for what I don't have and can't have. I loved. I envied. I peed all over my hand when trying to make it in the dixie cup. I cleaned up. I saw myself as HUGE. I told myself I am the PERFECT size. I read. I worked. I volunteered. I cooked and ate. I was complimented...twice :)
Today has left me feeling full :)
Today felt crisp, new, inspiring, fleeting, comfortable, slow, refreshing, beautiful.
It felt as if I was going about my business, and all around me a show was being performed...by the trees and the sun and the clouds, the shadows and the breeze, the cool temperature, the smells; they all played their part. They were all the "lead" at one point or another.
The performance left me giddy :)
Today, I went here and there, and there and there. I hurried, and took my time. I laughed when I should've been serious. I talked serious matters. I talked light matters. I considered our blessings. I considered we NEED nothing more. Nothing. More. I accomplished. I procrastinated. I wished for what I don't have and can't have. I loved. I envied. I peed all over my hand when trying to make it in the dixie cup. I cleaned up. I saw myself as HUGE. I told myself I am the PERFECT size. I read. I worked. I volunteered. I cooked and ate. I was complimented...twice :)
Today has left me feeling full :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Just Checking In...
A bit overwhelmed right now...not keeping up with much of anything it seems. Lately, it seems my world...my own ginormous universe...is in a downhill spin. Not downhill in the sense that things are bad and getting worse. More like, picking up speed on the downhill...and spinning a bit along the way.
There is no stopping it now. My life has sped up. It goes faster as you age, ya know. I'm sure some of you have experienced this. Perhaps it happened to you without a notice, without a second glance from you back to where the slow comfortable pace was left by the wayside. Perhaps you adjusted without even realizing there was an adjustment to be made. I'm definitely feeling the adjustment from the slow to the speedy, as if a new gear turned.
And it is overwhelming at times, mostly when the gremlins visit. They are a challenge, to say the least. They make me second guess where I'm at and how I'm doin' at it. And right now, with the quick approach of a new life taking its' first breath and being handed to me, the gremlins are making me question if I'm ready. Have I mentally and emotionally prepared myself for this? What if I can't breathe through the labor? Will BTK and I ever be the same, or will our relationship be completely different? Will we be able to handle the stress, the challenges that are to come? Am I patient enough? What if I'm not strong enough and I fall to pieces at some point?
And then some.
So, yeah, overwhelmed and stuff.
But the gremlins come, and then they go. They go because I'm mostly able to talk my way away from them. The fact is, I am good enough. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. BTK and I have love on our side and one challenge will not make or break us. The adventure we are on is exciting! Life is full of stressors, but I am strong enough and aware enough and I am learning to handle them. And if and when I do fall to pieces, I have people who love me who will help me back on my feet.
The baby is huge and I am huge...
We had our baby shower and our baby's wardrobe is officially bigger than mine :)
I have only three shifts left at work and then I'm done! (for a while anyways)
I still have six more weeks before the expected date...which is quite a bit of time to continue to "prepare" and ready ourselves.
I have God on my side :)
And then some.
There is no stopping it now. My life has sped up. It goes faster as you age, ya know. I'm sure some of you have experienced this. Perhaps it happened to you without a notice, without a second glance from you back to where the slow comfortable pace was left by the wayside. Perhaps you adjusted without even realizing there was an adjustment to be made. I'm definitely feeling the adjustment from the slow to the speedy, as if a new gear turned.
And it is overwhelming at times, mostly when the gremlins visit. They are a challenge, to say the least. They make me second guess where I'm at and how I'm doin' at it. And right now, with the quick approach of a new life taking its' first breath and being handed to me, the gremlins are making me question if I'm ready. Have I mentally and emotionally prepared myself for this? What if I can't breathe through the labor? Will BTK and I ever be the same, or will our relationship be completely different? Will we be able to handle the stress, the challenges that are to come? Am I patient enough? What if I'm not strong enough and I fall to pieces at some point?
And then some.
So, yeah, overwhelmed and stuff.
But the gremlins come, and then they go. They go because I'm mostly able to talk my way away from them. The fact is, I am good enough. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. BTK and I have love on our side and one challenge will not make or break us. The adventure we are on is exciting! Life is full of stressors, but I am strong enough and aware enough and I am learning to handle them. And if and when I do fall to pieces, I have people who love me who will help me back on my feet.
The baby is huge and I am huge...
We had our baby shower and our baby's wardrobe is officially bigger than mine :)
I have only three shifts left at work and then I'm done! (for a while anyways)
I still have six more weeks before the expected date...which is quite a bit of time to continue to "prepare" and ready ourselves.
I have God on my side :)
And then some.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Just a quick Tuesday thought...
BTK left for vacation and I was lost for a day, then found myself for three days, then lost again and lonely...THEN, we met up at my parents for the weekend and had a GREAT time with family and friends and now we are back home and I am found again!! Back to normal except better cause before it was the same as it is now except I didn't know how good it was...so it is actually better and the same. I know...so profound.
We attended a wedding on Saturday night and then our baby shower on Sunday...and it was all wonderful and fabulous! And I must say...I've been seeing less and less of my incredible family as the years progress and they only seem to be loving me more and more. I really can't describe the feeling...maybe like they lit a candle in me and warmed my heart with their love. And that candle is still glowing...so, thank you family for making me feel so special and loved this past weekend. Not just anyone can make a person feel like they are spilling over with so much juicy love :)
Back into the swing of things here. Trying to get ahold of so many things that seem to be slipping out of my grasp...LIFE is happening all around us and it is scampering and bouncing and skipping and calling back to me to "try and keep up!!".
So I'm trying to keep up.
That's where I'm at on this Tuesday :)
Peace out.
We attended a wedding on Saturday night and then our baby shower on Sunday...and it was all wonderful and fabulous! And I must say...I've been seeing less and less of my incredible family as the years progress and they only seem to be loving me more and more. I really can't describe the feeling...maybe like they lit a candle in me and warmed my heart with their love. And that candle is still glowing...so, thank you family for making me feel so special and loved this past weekend. Not just anyone can make a person feel like they are spilling over with so much juicy love :)
Back into the swing of things here. Trying to get ahold of so many things that seem to be slipping out of my grasp...LIFE is happening all around us and it is scampering and bouncing and skipping and calling back to me to "try and keep up!!".
So I'm trying to keep up.
That's where I'm at on this Tuesday :)
Peace out.
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